Can you remember the last time you had a deep & meaningful conversation with your partner?
Knowing how to have a deep conversation isn't easy & doesn't come natural to everyone. That said, talking about "deep topics" rather than "small talk", is incredibly important for you to be able to maintain closeness & deeper intimacy in your relationship.
Since relationships are undoubtedly one of the most important aspects of our lives, we have created a list with help from studying a few different relationship psychologists suggestions & what they seem to recommend.
The great thing is once you start one topic usually it will spiral into a new topic which will create a natural flow between you both.
Why not pick a question or two that stand out to you to ask next time you have some alone time with your partner, next date night perhaps? Start a real conversation & learn more about your partner. If you're single, you could even ask these on a first date.. Great little ice breaker.
1. What are the five most important things on your bucket list?
2. What's the best advice you've ever received?
3. If a genie granted you three wishes right now, what would you wish for?
4. What would you do on your "perfect day"?
5. What is your favourite quote?
6. What moments or events during your childhood shaped who you are now?
7. What do you think about the most?
8. In 10 years, how would you like to describe your life?
9. What are your favourite three topics to talk about?
10. What was the first thing you bought with your own money?
11. What's something I've done for you that you are grateful for?
12. Tell me your life story in 4 minutes with as many details as possible?
13. If you could enter a time machine, what era would you go to?
14. What are five things you are most thankful for right now?
15. What matters to you the most?
16. What's your ideal weekend?
17. Who or what has changed your life?
18. What makes you happy?
19. If you could go back in time, what's one piece of advice you'd give to your younger self?
20. If someone gave you a bunch of money to start a new business - no strings attached - what kind of business would you start & why?
21. What do you miss about being a kid?
22. If you could take a year long holiday - paid - what would you do?
23. What's the craziest thing you've ever done & would you do it again?
24. What do you value most in a relationship?
26. If you had 100k to give to any cause, which would you pick & why?
27. Tell me about a day/moment that you've had & you will never forget?
28. Is there something that you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it yet?
29. If there were 26 hours in a day, what would you do more of?
30. Let's alternate sharing three positive characteristics of each other.
The idea behind these questions;
These questions will help you build a closer bond with your partner by diving into deep and meaningful conversations to enhance intimacy in relationships.
How? The idea which is expressed behind the questions..
Gratitude is good for our bodies. minds & relationships. Whether you discuss something you are thankful for, or you express appreciation for your partners good deeds, gratitude deepens our relationships with others. Why? Gratitude does a few things it establishes trust & intimacy, creates higher relationship satisfaction & encourages you & your loved one to give even more.
When you do something your partner is grateful for it inspires your partner to do something nice in return. With this chain reaction you & your loved one will feel even more gratitude towards each other & help make your relationship stronger.
Coming right alongside gratitude, remembering past events is a sure way of inspiring appreciation. Sharing moments between you & your loved one increases feelings of connection, and makes you even more supportive & considerate of each other. Showing each other your vulnerable sides, how you have felt in the good times & the not so good times really shows your partner a side of you they haven't yet met & can evoke deep feelings & connections with each other.
When you share something with your partner whether it be a secret, a dream or aspiration - something really special happens to the brain. You release the "Love Hormone" (oxytocin), which plays a huge role in forming bonds between two people.
Numerous studies online show that the release of the love hormone makes us more sympathetic, supportive & open with our feelings. Apparently when it is released women actually show a decrease in social stress hormones & men communicate better, provide more eye contact & become more open with their feelings - win/win.
If you know what your partner loves and doesn't love you will be able to become a great partner for them & vice versa. This may seem like common sense yet have you ever had a long term partner, caught up with friends & they asked your partner something you never have before only to learn something completely new about them? Always learning will help be a better partner, never assume you know everything & listen to their perspective.
Having Things In Common
When two people have similar interests/attitudes it creates a stronger relationship. Similarity is a strong predictor of attraction & connection, because when two people are aligned it creates less division & less judgement between them. Which is so important!